I woke up one morning and said to my self i wish i was invisable then i took a look at my feet and they wernt there. so then i walked down to my mum and said good morning and my mum said “who is there” I go “its me mum ” i told her what had happend then i said to myself i wish i was not invisible any more then i was’nt so i got realy scard of what had happend.So i had breakfast mum was a little wierd so then i said “i’m going for a walk”.As i was walking i saw a guy in a house with a lady she was screeming so i go i wish i was invisable. Then i open the window at the back and went in is saw the guy so then i used her phone and rang the police they said they were going to take a bit so i thort of a plan, and then i saw some rope so i throw it over the guy and he’s like who’s there so i tied him up. Then i said i wish i was not invisable then the police come and asked who did this then the lady told them the story and i was on news my mum come,she was very happy. So now i am now as the invisable girl. I gess it is a good thing that i can help people but the people are al ways trying to copy me now making movies and toys but in the end i fill good for who i am,But what i what to now is how did i get this power and to ever gave it to me thanks.
Superheroes story
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mrbartlett said,
April 18, 2007 @ 2:34 am
Bonnie, this is a really interesting idea but the story is a little short. I really like the idea at the end that people are trying to copy you, making movies and toys based on you and your power.
You need to work on your sentence construction. I’d like you to rewrite the above story, using some of the punctuation rules we learned earlier this year.
For example:
I woke up one morning and said to myself, ‘I wish I was invisible.’
then i took a look at my feet and they wernt there. so then i walked down to my mum and said good morning and my mum said “who is there” I go “its me mum ” i told her what had happend then i said to myself i wish i was not invisible any more
mrbartlett said,
April 18, 2007 @ 2:37 am
Bonnie, this is a really interesting idea but the story is a little short. I really like the idea at the end that people are trying to copy you, making movies and toys based on you and your power.
You need to work on your sentence construction. I’d like you to rewrite the above story, using some of the punctuation rules we learned earlier this year.
For example:
I woke up one morning and said to myself, ‘I wish I was invisible.’
Then I took a look at my feet and they weren’t there! (Try not to use the words so and then to begin sentences!) I got out of bed and walked down to see my mum.
I said, ‘Good morning!’ (Every time someone different says something, you should start a new line.)
(Think about how your mother would feel now. Would she be surprised? Shocked? You should tell us. Continue the story from here…)
me said,
May 15, 2007 @ 12:46 am
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!